Happy As A Pig In Mud: 2011 Ford Crown Victoria P71

The 2nd generation Crown Victoria  was introduced in 1998 and was available to the public (mostly old dudes) through the 2007 model year.  From 2008 to 2011 the Crown Vic was only sold for fleet/rental use and was the police car of choice for many precincts.  This made spotting smokey and dropping to the legal speed limit an exercise in Crown Vic spotting and its recognizable shape will be missed as it has been replaced with various Malibu, Taurus, Charger, Caprice, and various SUVs/Tanks/Black Helicopters if you read (and/or believe) the news these days.  Regardless, if you are in the market for a used Crown Victoria and want to escape the madness in the big (and small) cities (again...if you read and/or believe the news...), you'll need a Crown Vic that has been converted into an off road escape machine. Find this 2011 Ford Crown Victoria P71 offered for $5800 in Solvang, CA via craigslist. Tip from Mike Jr.

5 Speed Swapped: 2004 Ford Crown Victoria P71

If someone asks me to recommend a cheap car for everyday driving, I will almost always suggest a used ex-Police Crown Victoria...to which my (soon to be ex) friend will explain the multitude of reasons he/she can't drive an inexpensive rear-drive heavy-duty car that'll part traffic like Moses. But for every person who can't drive them because they are afraid their mother-in-law might scrunch her nose or they might have to get their hands dirty with a few inexpensive and easy repairs...there is the person who points out the lack of a clutch pedal or shifter.  I guess police officers need one hand free to radio for back up or pump bad guys full of hot lead -- but all domestic cop cars have been slushbox equipped since sometime in the 60s or 70s (you'll find the later model European cop cars equipped with manuals because they don't give their cops guns, just whistles and ticket books. Cop cars in Australia are also manual gearbox equipped, but they are lunatic descendants of criminals who can shoot and shift from birth like Mad Max.)  So for the one person who had a legitimate reason for NOT driving a P71 interceptor...I present you...the counterpoint. Find this 2004 Ford Crown Victoria P71 offered for $4,500 in Liverpool, PA via craigslist. Tip from Jeff.

Happy Halloween: 2008 Ford Crown Victoria P71 Turbo

This next Horrorod comes from DT tipper Michael who writes: Right color and it makes 'turbo noises'.  So true! It is also a great smoke machine for your Halloween party. Find this 2008 Ford Crown Victoria P71 Turbo offered for $2500 in Pueblo, CO via craigslist.

Criminal Shifting: 2004 Ford Crown Victoria 5 Speed

It is safe to say that the Ford Crown Vic could be the easiest car in the country to keep on the road.  Police, taxi, and livery fleets kept these cars running for years.  You could find a mechanic is most any town in the USA to fix one of these cars.  The Ford panther car may not be as reliable as a Civic, but is arguably one of the most durable cars on the road. Today's feature car has had a 5 speed manual swap from a same year Mustang GT along with a Ford racing 3.73 posi rear and a impressive list of maintenance.   Find this 2004 Ford Crown Victoria for sale in Keene, NH for $4,400 via craigslist.

Crown Vicster: 1999 Ford Crown Victoria

The Crown Victoria was the prefered Police car for decades because it was rugged and perfect for stakeouts, traffic patrol, chasing bad guys, and hauling perps...but this next example will be good for exactly ZERO of those things because it is now a 2-door convertible.  Find this 1999 Ford Crown Victoria offered for an undisclosed pile of cash located in Toledo, OH via Kruznkleen.com.  Tip from Roni.

Plainclothes: 2011 Ford Crown Victoria P71 Detective's Car

Ford's final foray into the fullsize body-on-frame segment was a curious mix of old and new - from 2003 - 2011 the Crown Victoria used an all new chassis and suspension, but kept the same old body it had since 1998, which really was just an evolution of the aero design model that debuted way back in 1992. The good ol' 4.6L Modular V8 soldiered on as well, but despite these similarities a final-generation Crown Victoria Police Interceptor feels almost nothing like riding in Grandpa's Vic. On top of that, the detective-spec models are quite attractive, built as they were with all the police goodies but wearing civilian paint colors for a more incognito look. Find this 2011 Ford Police Interceptor for sale near Portland, OR for $4,650 via craigslist.

DT Driving from Monterey to Bremerton with the Lemons "Hell on Wheels" Rally

What could be more fun than 1,900 miles in some crummy old car in the middle of August? Doing it with a bunch of other weirdos you just met...and aren't quite sure about yet. Last year I had the opportunity - uh, the failure of judgment - to participate in part of the very first Lemons Rally, the so called "Hell on Wheels" drive from Monterey to Reno, down to Vegas, Death Valley, Bakersfield, and then back up the California coast. I wasn't able to run the full length last year so for 2017 we are going for broke. My E34 M5 was the conveyance of choice in 2016; this year my Dad and I cruising in something simultaneously newer but somehow more Lemony - a Ford P71 Crown Victoria Police Interceptor. All the way up to Seattle-ish and back. What could possibly go wrong! That isn't a question.

6k: Grandma's Running Over Reindeer: 500-hp 1996 Mercury Grand Marquis

During your Christmas gatherings, someone invariably will suggest piling the whole family in a vehicle and driving to church/a movie theater/a kegger together. So what do you drive? Your Ford 429-powered E-Type sure is spiffy, but it only seats two. Aunt Jemimah's 1987 Ford Aerostar has seats aplenty, but is populated by vermin and the fungi growing on her kids' unwashed hockey pads, plus it's a 1987 Ford Aerostar and that's just disgusting. What you need is a 6-seat road trip champ that runs 12s in the quarter mile. Find this turbo sleeper 1996 Mercury Grand Marquis in Irving, TX for $6,500 via craigslist. 

4k: Sweaty Palms: 2005 Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor

This image will haunt car enthusiasts for years to come, even though most police units have phased out the old Crown Victorias in favor of Impalas, Caprices, Chargers, Tauruses, and Tahoes. The iconic cop car still invokes cotton mouth and nausea today, but why let the 5-0 have all the fun? Bestowing panic attacks onto other motorists is fun the first time, until you realize that you're in slow-moving traffic everywhere you drive. Thankfully, this one has been thoroughly decommissioned from service thanks to a new Billy Club Black paint job and the general lack of enforcement paraphernalia - weapons box, laptop tray, light bar, and so on. And it's listed as a "steal." Nice try, honeypot. Find this 2005 Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor in Hollywod, FL for $3,990 with 16 days to go via eBay.

10k: Crown Victoriamino: 1955 Ford Station Wagon Crown Vic-anchero

Someone took a '55 Ford Station Wagon and what appears to have been a '55 Crown Victoria and moved the roofline forward to create a Ranchero from a '55 (First factory Ranchero's appeared in 1957). The end product gives lots of load space under the rear deck (notice added hinge towards front) and the car is drivable as is as a 1-of-a-kind-but-is-it-something-you-want?!  Find this 1955 Ford Station Wagon Crown Vic-anchero for sale in Phoenix, AZ for $12,495 or best offer on ebay.

5k: Landau? Try Depends: 1989 Ford LTD Crown Victoria, Minty Clean

In 1982 Ford split the LTD sedan into two models, the mid-sized LTD on the Fox platform, and the full-sized LTD Crown Victoria. The Crown Vic remained a body-on-frame Panther platform behemoth powered by Ford Windsor V8s. To add further confusion, the top of the line LTD Crown Victoria was originally called the LTD Landau and Crown Victoria was just a decor package typified by the big chrome band that ran from B-pillar to B-pillar over the roof like a 'crown.'  Find this 1989 Ford Crown Victoria LTD for sale in Shawsville, VA currently bidding on ebay for $3,603 reserve-not-met with a 4 days to go.

5k Flash: 2004 Ford Crown Vic P71 CNG - Cop Gasser Special

There isn't a driver alive who doesn't get nervous when he sees the unmistakable form of a Crown Vic in the rear view mirror (at least in the US anyways).  Maybe he can see the police issue spot lights or notice that the chrome trim is all blacked out, but he will instinctively lift the throttle, bleed off a few mph of speed and merge out of the way with careful blinker use (even BMW drivers figure out what that stalk is for when the five-oh is behind them).  So what happens to all those Crown Vics when they've cruised for 100k miles levying taxes to fund government excess...they get sold at auction and average folks get the chance to feel like a Missouri Turnpike Moses.  Find this 2004 Ford Crown Victoria P71 Interceptor CNG powered in Gilbert, AZ curently bidding on ebay for $6400 with a few hours to go.

5k: 2004 Ford Crown Victoria P-71 Police Interceptor

The Ford Crown Victoria is based on Ford's Panther platform - the big 'body-on-frame' brother to the Fox platform.  The Crown Vic was built from 1979 to 2011 - the second generation from 1998-2011, but only for fleet sales after 2007.  The crown jewel of the Vics is the P-71 police interceptor package and only available to the public after the police are done with them and sold at auction. This 2004 Ford Crown Vic P-71 Police Interceptor is for sale in Largo, FL currently bidding at $4850 reserve-not-met with a buy-it-now of $6900 on ebay.