Happy As A Pig In Mud: 2011 Ford Crown Victoria P71

The 2nd generation Crown Victoria  was introduced in 1998 and was available to the public (mostly old dudes) through the 2007 model year.  From 2008 to 2011 the Crown Vic was only sold for fleet/rental use and was the police car of choice for many precincts.  This made spotting smokey and dropping to the legal speed limit an exercise in Crown Vic spotting and its recognizable shape will be missed as it has been replaced with various Malibu, Taurus, Charger, Caprice, and various SUVs/Tanks/Black Helicopters if you read (and/or believe) the news these days.  Regardless, if you are in the market for a used Crown Victoria and want to escape the madness in the big (and small) cities (again...if you read and/or believe the news...), you'll need a Crown Vic that has been converted into an off road escape machine. Find this 2011 Ford Crown Victoria P71 offered for $5800 in Solvang, CA via craigslist. Tip from Mike Jr.

5 Speed Swapped: 2004 Ford Crown Victoria P71

If someone asks me to recommend a cheap car for everyday driving, I will almost always suggest a used ex-Police Crown Victoria...to which my (soon to be ex) friend will explain the multitude of reasons he/she can't drive an inexpensive rear-drive heavy-duty car that'll part traffic like Moses. But for every person who can't drive them because they are afraid their mother-in-law might scrunch her nose or they might have to get their hands dirty with a few inexpensive and easy repairs...there is the person who points out the lack of a clutch pedal or shifter.  I guess police officers need one hand free to radio for back up or pump bad guys full of hot lead -- but all domestic cop cars have been slushbox equipped since sometime in the 60s or 70s (you'll find the later model European cop cars equipped with manuals because they don't give their cops guns, just whistles and ticket books. Cop cars in Australia are also manual gearbox equipped, but they are lunatic descendants of criminals who can shoot and shift from birth like Mad Max.)  So for the one person who had a legitimate reason for NOT driving a P71 interceptor...I present you...the counterpoint. Find this 2004 Ford Crown Victoria P71 offered for $4,500 in Liverpool, PA via craigslist. Tip from Jeff.

Happy Halloween: 2008 Ford Crown Victoria P71 Turbo

This next Horrorod comes from DT tipper Michael who writes: Right color and it makes 'turbo noises'.  So true! It is also a great smoke machine for your Halloween party. Find this 2008 Ford Crown Victoria P71 Turbo offered for $2500 in Pueblo, CO via craigslist.

The Thick Blue Line: 2008 Ford Crown Victoria P71 Police Interceptor

Sales of Ford's legendary Crown Victoria sedan stopped for the general public after the 2007 model year, but fleet sales continued through 2011. Legend has it that many police departments put in large orders for the aging Panther platform beast because they were concerned about the reliability of the replacement vehicles from Chevy/Ford/Dodge, but if you want a slightly used ex-Police use Crown Vicky, you can get one for the contents of a child's piggy bank. Find this 2008 Ford Crown Victoria offered for $2450 in Warren, MI via craigslist.  Tip from Rock On!

Plainclothes: 2011 Ford Crown Victoria P71 Detective's Car

Ford's final foray into the fullsize body-on-frame segment was a curious mix of old and new - from 2003 - 2011 the Crown Victoria used an all new chassis and suspension, but kept the same old body it had since 1998, which really was just an evolution of the aero design model that debuted way back in 1992. The good ol' 4.6L Modular V8 soldiered on as well, but despite these similarities a final-generation Crown Victoria Police Interceptor feels almost nothing like riding in Grandpa's Vic. On top of that, the detective-spec models are quite attractive, built as they were with all the police goodies but wearing civilian paint colors for a more incognito look. Find this 2011 Ford Police Interceptor for sale near Portland, OR for $4,650 via craigslist.

DT Driving from Monterey to Bremerton with the Lemons "Hell on Wheels" Rally

What could be more fun than 1,900 miles in some crummy old car in the middle of August? Doing it with a bunch of other weirdos you just met...and aren't quite sure about yet. Last year I had the opportunity - uh, the failure of judgment - to participate in part of the very first Lemons Rally, the so called "Hell on Wheels" drive from Monterey to Reno, down to Vegas, Death Valley, Bakersfield, and then back up the California coast. I wasn't able to run the full length last year so for 2017 we are going for broke. My E34 M5 was the conveyance of choice in 2016; this year my Dad and I cruising in something simultaneously newer but somehow more Lemony - a Ford P71 Crown Victoria Police Interceptor. All the way up to Seattle-ish and back. What could possibly go wrong! That isn't a question.

4k: Sweaty Palms: 2005 Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor

This image will haunt car enthusiasts for years to come, even though most police units have phased out the old Crown Victorias in favor of Impalas, Caprices, Chargers, Tauruses, and Tahoes. The iconic cop car still invokes cotton mouth and nausea today, but why let the 5-0 have all the fun? Bestowing panic attacks onto other motorists is fun the first time, until you realize that you're in slow-moving traffic everywhere you drive. Thankfully, this one has been thoroughly decommissioned from service thanks to a new Billy Club Black paint job and the general lack of enforcement paraphernalia - weapons box, laptop tray, light bar, and so on. And it's listed as a "steal." Nice try, honeypot. Find this 2005 Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor in Hollywod, FL for $3,990 with 16 days to go via eBay.

10k: I'd Rather Have A V10: 1999 Ford Crown Victoria P71 With Triton V10

The 2nd generation Crown Victoria  was introduced in 1998 and was available to the public (mostly old dudes) through the 2007 model year.  From 2008 to 2011 the Crown Vic was only sold for fleet/rental use and was the police car of choice for many precincts.  This made spotting smokey and dropping to the legal speed limit an exercise in Crown Vic spotting and its recognizable shape will be missed as it has been replaced with various Malibu, Taurus, Charger & Caprice.  If you are in the market for a used Crown Victoria, the one to get is the P-71 Police Interceptor which added a bunch of cop special parts but used the same basic 4.6 liter modular V8...unless you replace it with a V10.  Find this 1999 Ford Crown Victoria  P71 with Triton V10 power for $8,500 via craigslist in California, MD.  Tip from Carl L.

5k Flash: 2004 Ford Crown Vic P71 CNG - Cop Gasser Special

There isn't a driver alive who doesn't get nervous when he sees the unmistakable form of a Crown Vic in the rear view mirror (at least in the US anyways).  Maybe he can see the police issue spot lights or notice that the chrome trim is all blacked out, but he will instinctively lift the throttle, bleed off a few mph of speed and merge out of the way with careful blinker use (even BMW drivers figure out what that stalk is for when the five-oh is behind them).  So what happens to all those Crown Vics when they've cruised for 100k miles levying taxes to fund government excess...they get sold at auction and average folks get the chance to feel like a Missouri Turnpike Moses.  Find this 2004 Ford Crown Victoria P71 Interceptor CNG powered in Gilbert, AZ curently bidding on ebay for $6400 with a few hours to go.