Multi-Tasker: 1990ish Dodge 1500 Ram Pickup Forklift

What is red, white, and can pull its own motor? Yeah. a Dodge pickup with a forklift hanging out the back.  The fork lift pickup might seem like an odd vehicle, but I've seen many running around the street hauling dumpsters from behind apartment complexes to the street for the big trash machine to do the dumping. Personally, I'd like to have one to drive around and use for various tasks around the yard/garage/house (wash the windows on the 2nd floor?), but you'll need to get a title because this one isn't street legal according to the seller. Find this 1990ish Dodge 1500 Ram Pickup Forklift offered for $1,500 in Lake City via facebash marketplace.

Better Than Church On Sunday: 1978 Triumph Spitfire

Is it more true that it is more fun to drive a slow car fast than a fast car slow?  With about 53 horsepower on tap, the featherweight Triumph Spitfire 16 second 0-60 time falls clearly in the deep end of the slow car category.  The malaise era was equally cruel to British car engine power outputs as it was to the USA V8's.  Today's seller quotes The Guardian (UK) writer Jasper Gerard to do his selling for him, but whether any NYC craigslist shoppers actually care or not remains to be seen.  Find this BRG 1978 Triumph Spitfire for sale in Weston, CT for $4,500 via craigslist.

Happy Father's Day: 2003 Chevrolet 1500 Express Van

It is Father's Day -- the yearly celebration of all things manly and fatherly, so I ask you, which car is the most likely to be a Dad car.  I'd say anything that is a van.  Like this 2003 Chevrolet 1500 Express Van offered for $4,995 here on eBay buy-it-now or make-offer located in Warren, MI.

Mid Week Match-Up: A Race Car Hauler For Matt

Today's Mid Week Match-Up request comes from Matt C who writes:  It would be nice if I had a tow vehicle capable of pulling around 4,000 to 5,000 pounds to pull a Dodge Dart race car and flatbed trailer. But not just a pickup truck - this would need to also double as a family mobile so it could haul two grown ups and two children, and be reliable enough to use as daily transportation. And my wife would want to use it for camping trips as well. I'm in the Atlanta area and the budget for this hypothetical purchase would be $6,000.

9k: Practically UseleSS: 1991 Chevrolet 454SS

Sometimes you can just look at a vehicle and think, "I bet that driver owns a Hard Rock Cafe t-shirt." And while most trucks don't make good cars, the rare performance-special 454SS doesn't make much of a truck either. For $34,000 (in 2015), you got 2wd, a regular cab, regular bed, two seats, a 1,000-lb payload, and 10 mpg on the highway. Gas was cheaper then. In a way, it's like a Corvette with a fuel leak and blown struts, but more room for empty beer cans in the back. That's good enough for some people. Find this 1991 Chevrolet 454SS for sale in Yakima, WA for $9,000 via craigslist.

10k: America: 1985 Chevrolet K10 1500 4X4 Pickup

If you've got even an ounce of patriotic 'Merican blood flowing through your cheeseburger clogged arteries, then this next feature will surely get your heart going a little faster.  The seller does such a magnificent job of photographing this classic truck that I just want to grow a man beard, put on jeans/flannel, and start smoking Marlboros.  I don't even like the smell of cigarette smoke, but I'll take two cases of lung cancer and a heavy helping of worldwide hatred from evil doers all over the globe because this truck is so Amer-sea to shining sea--ican. Find this 1985 Chevrolet K10 1500 4X4 Pickup here on eBay currently bidding for $9,900 with a few days to go located in Mellisa, TX.

5k: I Got Worms: 2001 Chevy Express 1500 "Mutt Cutts" Edition

Even with a build quality slightly above duct-taping a bird's head onto its neck, we don't get many details or photos befitting this masterful dogification. No given interior shots showing traces of mustard, dog hair, or urine. No information about how many seats it has, or if it has an open bed for picking up hitchhikers and hit men. Fortunately, the facade looks like it's been spared from hill jumping, and does a passable job of not blaspheming the original. That's far more than I could say for the recently released Dumb and Dumber To. Find this 2001 Chevy Express 1500 Dumb and Dumber conversion for $5,000 here on eBay located in a place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Bettendorf, IA.

10k: Take Your Pick: 1980 VAZ-2103 or 1981 VAZ-2106 (Lada 1500/1600)

In all my eBay surfing, I've seen some funky auctions-- buy one get one free, buy one and you need to submit a core (or trade-in) but I've never seen someone offer two cars for one price, where the winner selects one car to take home.  Why not create two different auctions?  Seems a strange way to sell your classic Russian sedan, but in Soviet Russia, eBay auction you!  Find a 1980 VAZ-2103 or 1981 VAZ-2106 offered for $9,000 buy-it-now or best offer via ebay, located in Hialeah, FL with a few days to go.

5k: Classy Ragtop: 1965 Fiat 1500 Cabriolet

The Fiat 1500 was a large family car built in Italy and was available as a sedan, wagon, coupe, or cabriolet.  Some will complain that its 1.5 liter engine is light on power compared to contemporary competition, but the Pininfarina-designed body is gorgeous enough to forgive any serious shortcomings.  Find this 1965 Fiat 1500 Cabriolet currently bidding for $4,850 with 4 days to go on ebay, located in Novi, MI.

5k: French Racing Bleu: 1978 Triumph Spitfire 1500

The Triumph Spitfire is a diminutive British roadster named after an iconic WWII fighter, the highest production and most successful British fighter plane of all time.  The road-going Spitfire can't claim the same sales (or Nazi hunting) success, but it is a classic in its own right.  The Triumph version is extremely small, but well proportioned to hide its diminutive stature in photos - the opposite of a facebook selfie.  It may not look it in the photos, but the Spitfire is similar in size to the MG Midget and Austin-Healey Sprite.  Find this 1978 Triumph Spitfire 1500 offered for $4,000 in Watsonville, CA via craigslist.  Tip from Kaibeezy.

5k: White Cake: 1975 MG Midget 1500

The MG Midget was a badge engineered version of the Austin Healey Sprite and shared mechanical components, sheet metal -- basically everything but the badging.  In the 5th generation (1974) the Austin Healey Sprite had been discontinued, but the Midget was now powered by a larger 1.5 liter engine and will have a better time keeping up with modern traffic.  Regardless, the Spridget has a certain enduring charm and a dedicated following -- and is also a great way to get into a restored classic roadster for the price of a wreck in many other makes/models.  Find this 1975 MG Midget offered for $6,000 in West Los Angeles, CA via craigslist.

15k: Walmart Viper: 2005 Dodge Ram 1500 SRT-10 Quad Cab

The Dodge Ram SRT-10 isn't pretty. It isn't sporty.  It isn't really a pickup or a sports car.  It is a physics defying 3-ton hunk of metal powered by a 500 horsepower V10, with room for 5 adults, a few mangy dogs, a BBQ grill, and $500 of groceries.  It is as if Dodge had turned over the Viper design authority to a collective of shoppers from Walmart and told them "design the next Viper for your cousin Bubba and his wife/sister."  Find this 2005 Dodge Ram 1500 SRT-10 quad cab for sale in Pasadena, TX currently bidding on ebay for $10,626 reserve-not-met with a few days to go via ebay.

10k: Whole Lada Shaking Going On: 1975 Lada 1500 VAZ 2103

Forget everything you know about cool hipster mobiles - this feature is going to change everything.  Take the cool of driving an Alfa Romeo Berlina Sedan, the "I don't need to ride up hills" practicality of a vintage steel framed fixie bike and add the "I was wearing this before it was used on that USA Network show" linen Fedora...you still won't be as cool as this car.  Find this 1975 Lada 1500/VAZ 2103 for sale in the SF Bay Area, CA for $11,500. Another brown trout from Kaibeezy.