

Cromniomancy is the art of divination using onions. In practice, you inscribe two choices (perhaps for love life or career choice) on the bottom of two onions and wait for one to sprout -- the first one with a sprout lets you know which of the two choices you need to follow. Personally, I find this sort of witchcraft disgusting, not just because of my dislike for onions (actually they do taste good when cooked, but raw onions are about as appealing to eat as a set of used spark plugs), but also because I prefer the art of Audiomancy. This is where you buy two used Audis, inscribe your life changing choices and wait for one to have a catastrophic failure that requires a multi-week dealer visit. Oddly enough, Audiomancy is a great way to make important financial decisions while simultaneously emptying your bank account and rendering those financial issues moot. Plus, who has time to wait for those onions to sprout -- a used Audi is only a few good throttle pedal mashes away from some complex and financially crippling electro-hydra-mechnical failure. Here is a set of used Audis ready for the Audiorceror; first is this
2007 Audi S6 offered for $18,900 and second is this
2007 Audi S4 offered for $18,999, both cars are located in St Louis, MO via craigslist.