A Rant: Ugly on Porpoise

Coffee Brake: I used to think that Tesla built the ugliest SUV on the planet with its 2015 release of the Model X because it was just ugly enough to steal the prize from the long time winning Honda Crosstour.  The Model X looks like a perfect combination of the Model S and a bloated whale carcass, and it was the winner of the S.U.V. (Super Ugly Vehicle) prize until I spied something in traffic that caught my eye like a festering gangrenous middle finger on a cellist.  I winced like I'd just noticed a half eaten clump of short 'n' curly hair in my fish taco -- and my pyloric valve sealed shut like an airlock on the International Space Station. They call it a coupe, but the Mercedes-Benz GLE Coupe is neither a coupe nor a car..tis a monstrosity that belongs in Davy Jones' locker.

1k: Seller Submission: 1981 Volvo 264 GLE Sedan

The Volvo 200 series was range of large sized boxy automobiles that established Volvo's (now defunct) reputation as a pioneer in passenger safety.  Large crumple zones fore/aft, 3-point belts, and 4-wheel disc brakes were standard safety features on Volvo's family sedan when new.  Today, a used Volvo makes sense as an inexpensive daily driver, and prices are cheap enough that you may as well get a good one.  Find this 1981 Volvo 264 GLE Sedan here on eBay currently bidding for $1,025 reserve-not-met with 4 days to go, located in Lebanon, OH.  Seller Submission from Walter.

5k: Winters Beatings: 1991 Volvo 740 GLE 16-Valve Wagon

 Folks outside a few select locations don't have the luxury of driving a vintage convertible 12 months out of the year and sometimes even people who live near a tropical beach have to drive 42 miles in bumper-to-bumper traffic.  What this means is that the normal requirement for fun driving gets thrown out the window, and now you simply need a car that runs and fits as much crap on the inside while being as economical as possible.  What about this 4-cylinder powered, slushbox equipped wagon for less than three large?  Find this 1991 Volvo 740 GLE Wagon offered here on craigslist for $2,500 in Scripps Ranch, CA.

5k: 5.0h My: 1988 Volvo 760 GLE Wagon V8 Swap

Welcome to another Thorsday at DT, the day we feature the best Scandinavian junk found for sale on the internet.  This next feature is an international amalgam that combines the best of American V8 power, Swedish blocky styling and Eastern bloc pricing.  Find this 1988 Volvo Other 760 GLE Wagon with Ford V8 for sale in Elizabeth, CO offered for $4,800 buy-it-now or best offer on ebay.

10k: Low-Mile Red Rocket: 1977 SAAB 99 GLE

The SAAB 99 and its 900 successor seem to appear fairly often on these pages; despite an apparent bias towards the Volvo end of the Svenska bil spectrum, we do actually make an effort to talk about the other car maker up there...you know, the one that was "Born From Jets" and has since died and been reborn a few times in good Viking fashion. There isn't really another vehicle that looks like the 99/900 - and whether you think that's a good thing or a deal-breaker may say more about your own eccentricity than the little front wheel drive vehicle's. Find this 1977 SAAB 99 GLE with a claimed 58,000 miles for sale in Saugerties, NY for $9000 negotiable via craigslist.  Tip from Sean.